The Child Family

I'm not going to lie...I feel awful. Ugh! I've been having chemo treatments everyday since Monday and the effects of the chemo seem cumulative. I get more and more tired and sick everyday. I honestly wonder how I can make it through another day. Isn't that horrible? I am trying to be positive, but I have my good days and my bad days.

Last night, as I was up at 2 a.m. throwing up, fighting a headache and feeling my very darkest, I thought of my Savior. I can't imagine it, but he felt what I am feeling right now, except eternally worse. I can't even imagine. I am grateful for Him and what he did for us. He knows how to comfort me because he knows how I feel.

I told you about a gentleman at one of my chemo treatments that came up to me and gave me words of encouragement? Well, he came over one last time that day and said, "do you have a wallet?" and I looked at him, confused, but said, "Yes, why?" and he handed me some money. I immediately felt my face flush and I began to refuse the money. He said, "You take it, I felt inspired that you were the one I was to give this to." I was completely touched and started crying again. That man, even though I do not know him at all, was my angel that day. What a sweet man and I hope that I can be that in touch so that I can help someone in need.

My son's sensitive side has come out through all of this. Everday, I come home to freshly picked flowers or, when it's snowing, a card with flowers and hearts on it. He gets himself dressed and ready in the morning and gives me extra hugs and kisses. He doesn't know the full extent of what's going on, but he knows his momma isn't the same and he is trying to make me feel better. Bless his little heart.

We've also seen another side of our sweet, mellow Izzy. She is so laid back and easily transitions to new things, but she has been totally resistant to taking formula. Obviously, I can't nurse her through all this so I've been trying to wean her. Well, she spits it out and makes a sour face and cries. Finally the day came I had to have my first treatment and I had to stop cold turkey. Poor girl! I was worried about her health and how she would end up with enough nutrition without formula. Well, I consider this a blessing from the Lord, she started drinking formula all the sudden without complaints. I think she got hungry enough and realized this was all she's gettin'!! So thank heavens, I don't have to worry about that anymore!

So, there's my updates! One more treatment for the week and I'm done for two weeks. Whoot Whoot!