Thank you for all your comments, seriously, I LOVE them. I would love to respond to each one, but I don't know if you will ever see the response. So I will just say a big "THANK YOU!!" here.
Apparently, from the feedback I get, my posts make people pretty weepy. I must be pretty depressing! Very sorry! I am trying to keep it real because it feels good to write about it. Also, I am trying to prove to myself that I will not lose faith, hope and joy through all this and MAYBE help someone else that might be struggling with their own battles. Not that I am the guru of getting through trials, but sometimes it helps to hear about how other's deal with things.
So, seriously, this whole thing has kicked my butt. After being all weekend confined to the couch from extreme fatigue and all around grossness, Monday I had to drag myself to the Dr. to get a Nuelastra shot. I was so weak that they had to LAY me on the examination table, cover me with a warm blanket to calm me down and hand me a handful of tissues to wipe away my tired tears. Dr. Stinnet walked in an was absolutely stunned at my state. He asked his normal questions and then quickly shuffled out. He knew that my ultra fatigued state was more than just the chemo talking and he needed to hand the emotional part over to my sweet, compassionate, wonderful chemo nurse. Lisa came in with her "let's get down to business" attitude and I felt immediately better. I knew that she would help make this chemo thing bearable. We talked and she listened and she helped me to realize that yes, I was tired and fatigued but I was also depressed. DEPRESSED?? I almost couldn't believe it. Haven't I tried to be POSITIVE through this whole thing? But then it made sense. All of the things I was doing added up. I couldn't get off the couch, I didn't want to do anything and I was sad and weepy. Among many words of love and encouragement, she said that I need to force myself, no matter how tired I am to do something for myself. I felt so much better after talking to her, I really did. That night, I pulled myself from the couch and went outside and fed Izzy a bottle in the sunshine and watched LT ride his bike. It was completely healing. Then, I even managed to plant some plants in our yard and help with the yard work. I was still extremely tired yes, but happier and working through the fatigue. So now, I am trying to be happier and GET OUT and do stuff. Today, it just about killed me, but I went to a track meet. When I'm active I am happier and I firmly believe that. Even without cancer I was always happiest when I worked out and got out and did stuff.
So overall, things are looking up, they really are! Thanks everyone for all your love and encouragement!
6 comments:
PLEASE DON'T CHANGE YOUR POSTS. I want to know what you are feeling and how you are feeling. I think it's good for us all. Have fun wig shopping. Has any hair started coming out yet?
No hair has come out yet! I am expecting in maybe a week or so??
Good luck wig shopping! I wish I could be there with you!
Hang in there. sweetie!
Love,
Linds
My little friend had chemo when he was 6 for Leukemia, and his didn't fall out until the end. But when it did, it just came out in clumps. It will probably be pretty weird when it happens. You will be darling still.
I check your blog every day to find out what's going on. If you weren't talking about how crappy you feel, I'd know it anyway and think you were being silly. I'd much rather know that you were having ups and downs because then I'd know you're doing relatively well. Hang in there, you're doing great!
It sounds as if someone has been sharing my secret with you. Yes I'm guilty. I love to read your posts and see how your doing. It gives me memories of my own recovery and that causes weepiness for me, because I know your trials. The only way to get through it all is faith, family, friends, and a really good attitude! Guess you pretty much have all that! I think about you all the time and pray for the best! I really would love to stop by, but hesitate to bother you. If you need a few hours for yourself, please call me. I would love to watch LT & Izzy for you and I would be thrilled to give you sometime to yourself!
Love you and think about you lots.
Teri
Post a Comment